When you pray

Looking to the Lord's Prayer, in Matthew 6:5-15, to form our own experience

Prayer is one of the most intimate expressions of faith we have. It is not a performance, a ritual, or a spiritual transaction. Prayer is relationship. It is how we draw near to God, how we learn to trust him, and how we align our hearts with his purposes in the world. In Matthew 6, Jesus invites his disciples, and us, into a deeper, more honest understanding of what prayer is meant to be.

We Pray as an Expression of Personal Intimacy (6–8)

Much like Jesus’ teaching on giving earlier in Matthew 6, prayer is not meant to be a tool for gaining favor in the eyes of others. Public prayer, in itself, is not the problem. The issue Jesus addresses is intentionally public prayer offered for the sake of status, recognition, or admiration. When prayer becomes a way to showcase spirituality rather than cultivate intimacy with God, it loses its purpose.

Jesus makes this clear by contrasting authentic prayer with the religious posturing common among the religious leaders. Luke 18:9-14 captures this tension vividly. Jesus tells a parable about two men who go to the temple to pray. One is a Pharisee, confident in his own righteousness, reciting his religious résumé before God. The other is a tax collector, socially despised, spiritually desperate, who can barely lift his eyes and simply pleads, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

Jesus’ conclusion is unsettling and instructive: the tax collector goes home justified, not the Pharisee. Why? Because prayer is not about impressing God or others. It is about humility, honesty, and most of all, dependence. God is not drawn to eloquence or religious accomplishment; he responds to faith expressed through humility.

Prayer ought to be a regular and typical part of our walk with the Lord. Jesus assumes that his followers will pray, “when you pray,” not “if you pray.” The foundation of that life of prayer, however, is private prayer. In verse 6, Jesus emphasizes secrecy not as a rule but as a safeguard. When no one else sees or hears us pray, only God knows, and that is the point. Public prayer should always overflow from a vibrant private prayer life, never replace it.

Jesus also warns against empty or meaningless prayer in verse 7. There are likely two things in view here. On one hand, the Pharisees were known for long, drawn-out prayers filled with words but lacking intention. These prayers were less about communion with God and more about self-validation. On the other hand, pagan prayer practices often involved chanting or repetitive phrases meant to manipulate the gods through sheer volume or persistence.

In both cases, Jesus makes the same point: prayer should mean something. It should say something. Prayer is not magic, nor is it mindless repetition. It is purposeful communication rooted in relationship. We pray with confidence, not because we use the right words, but because we are speaking to a good Father who knows what we need before we ask.

That confidence rests in God’s character. God is not distant or cruel. He does not delight in withholding good from his children. As Jesus reminds us later in Matthew 7:9-11, if earthly parents know how to give good gifts, how much more will our Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him? Prayer, then, is an act of trust. We come believing that God loves us, that he listens, and that he works for our good.

We Pray for God’s Reign Over the World and Our Hearts (9–13)

In verses 9-13, Jesus gives his disciples what we often call the Lord’s Prayer. This is not meant to be a script we recite mindlessly, but a model that shapes how we pray. When we pay attention to its structure, we notice three broad movements that reveal the heart of prayer.

First, Jesus teaches us to pray for God’s name to be honored. “Our Father in heaven, your name be honored as holy.” To honor God’s name is to desire that his character, his glory, and his holiness would be known. At its core, this is a missionary prayer. Jesus’ life and ministry were driven by a passion to make the Father known, and that same passion should shape our prayers. When we pray, we begin not with ourselves, but with God, his goodness, his worth, his glory.

Second, we pray for God’s kingdom to come. This is a prayer for God’s rule and reign to be fully realized, for every competing authority to be dismantled, and for God’s purposes to prevail. Jesus announced in Matthew 4:16-17 that the kingdom of heaven had come near. In one sense, God is already reigning. The kingdom is present everywhere, and it is visible wherever Jesus is acknowledged as King.

And yet, the kingdom has not been fully consummated. There are still forces that resist God’s rule, sin, injustice, rebellion, and death itself. When we pray “your kingdom come,” we are expressing a longing for the day when God’s reign is uncontested, when all things are made right, and when the world looks the way God intended it to from the beginning.

Finally, Jesus teaches us to pray for God’s provision. “Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts.” These requests remind us that we are completely dependent on God for our physical needs and our spiritual needs. Every breath we take is a gift. Every act of forgiveness we receive is an act of grace.

Psalm 62:5-8 captures this posture beautifully: “Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from him.” Prayer is where we rehearse that truth. It is where we acknowledge who God is and who we are not. We come empty-handed, trusting that God is sufficient.

We Practice Our Prayer (14–15)

Jesus concludes his teaching on prayer with a challenging reminder: prayer is meant to shape how we live. In verses 14-15, he focuses specifically on forgiveness. Just as God forgives us, we are called to forgive others. This is not easy. Forgiveness rarely feels natural or fair. But it is one of the clearest signs that grace has taken root in our lives.

Forgiveness does not excuse sin or deny pain. It does, however, release our right to hold others hostage in our hearts. It is a rejection of bitterness and a declaration that grace will have the final word. When we forgive, we reflect the character of Christ.

Jesus’ warning in verse 15 is heavy but necessary. “But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses.” He is not saying that God’s forgiveness is earned by our forgiveness of others. Scripture is clear that salvation is by grace alone. What Jesus is saying is that forgiveness is the evidence of transformation. If grace has truly changed us, it will shape how we treat those who hurt us. A persistent refusal to forgive should cause us to examine whether we have truly understood and received God’s grace.

As Paul writes in Ephesians 4:31-32, we are called to put away bitterness and anger and to forgive one another, just as God forgave us in Christ.

Prayer, then, is not merely something we say. It is something we live. It draws us into intimacy with God, aligns us with his kingdom, and forms us into people marked by grace. When we pray as Jesus taught us, we discover not only who God is, but who we are becoming.